Saturday, 29 January 2011

Week 2 - Africa Revisited...

I’d decided to arrive on time, rather than early today, to avoid any unnecessary fraternising with the enemy.
I quickly learnt that musical chairs has been outlawed, to the point of becoming illegal (punishment unknown, but likely to be death by lethal injection of Sanatagen).
It appears that you must choose very carefully where you sit in lesson one, as once your cheeks touch the seat you are immediately tied by some bizarre legally binding contract to sit nowhere else for the duration of the course.
My space-invading friend annoyed me by using an empty chair the other side of her to unload all her old-person's junk! I was left balancing my bag / pen / notepad etc on the end of my knees. The fact that last week she objected to me using a chair for such purposes did not go un-noticed.
Another morning was spent on the Continental Drift, and this week's selection of exhilarating slides consisted of maps… we didn't see enough last week!..... digital images of water, and our first real slide of a photograph of Africa....................a large chunk of rock! (Deep joy).
Break-time thankfully passed off without any major incidents, as I had the foresight to bring along 40p in loose change for my Nescafe.
I'd chosen to make myself invisible, by saying very little and trying to blend in to the background to avoid confrontation, and yet I ended up joined at my table by all the "lads". (Clearly attracted to the army combats I was wearing as camouflage). 15 minutes of War stories later, it was time to head back to my special seat in the lecture room.
It was made apparent, that last week someone borrowed a book from the book box without signing away their life for it (shock horror) which now deems this publication "missing" (with the distinct implication it’s been STOLEN!). As the youngest person in the building (and therefore a hooligan) I’m obviously under suspicion, despite the fact I never went anywhere near the front of the room where the box was located. Nobody said anything directly, but I got several side-ways looks when it was being mentioned. I hope the damned thing turns up soon.
After another 20 minutes of Plate Tectonics , I suddenly thought I was having some sort of stroke (obviously brought on by an unnaturally high output of old people pheromones in the air) but luckily for me it was simply pins and needles all down my left side, brought on by my legally obligated plastic chair digging into the back of my leg.
I must've drifted off somewhere between Igneous Rock and the Rift Valleys, because before I knew it part two had ended.
I wasn’t exactly thrilled to learn there will be no time off for good behaviour next week (half-term break) as no-body else has children of school age (or grand-children of school age for that matter), therefore it’ll be a straight run through til December. Happy days!

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