College - Week 3...

College - week 3)

Intro to Counselling began innocuously enough, with an amusingly antique black and white video to snigger at, but things, I fear, went rapidly downhill from there on in.

Role-playing is not, and I doubt ever will be, one of my greatest talents. After assembling in groups of four …or three in one case….. roles were duly agreed upon, and subsequently acted out within the relatively small confines of each gathering.

Of course, I drew the short straw, which instantly plunged me into the leading role of counsellor. With only two weeks of tutoring behind me, I failed dismally to introduce myself correctly, I failed to notice any of the verbal or non-verbal cues my poor 'client' offered up, I failed to remember anything of any relevance at all from the aforementioned ‘Blockbuster’, and was rendered speechless after just two minutes of the intended ten minute 'session'.

Even after an admirable rescue attempt from my tutor, my mind emptied itself in a spectacular malfunction. The two other students in my group, who’d selected the relatively stress-free roles of 'observers', were kind enough to be tactful in their assessments of my dire efforts, but my confidence lay in ruins.

Lunchtime was a welcome release from my embarrassment, and I spent the entire hour wallowing in a shameless display of self-pity. I was, indeed, pathetic, and my long-suffering classmates kindly indulged my juvenile behaviour without condemnation.

The afternoon stint contained long words and mind-bending theories, complete with optical illusion overhead projections, which adequately distracted me from my earlier indignity.

At this week's computing session I felt reassuringly optimistic, and I relished the smug feeling of success at properly justifying my text and setting the correct margins. I do, however, feel that a 9 o'clock start is an overly ambitious target, and it’d be a far more civilised affair if all morning sessions on the Access Main course began at 10 o'clock instead.

Both the tutors and the students would benefit greatly, in my opinion, from an extra hour of humanising activities, such as caffeine ingestion and the opportunity of running a comb through ones tresses.

Negative and positive numbers were the dubious treat in store after the mid morning break, although Mr Smug remained with me as I completed my homework during the lesson.

However, Mr Panic reared his vile and ugly head when I learnt that next week's lesson is to be dragged kicking and screaming out of A28 and into a building far, far away. Something was said about 'The Rembrandt Building' and trekking through the car park, so I anticipate my belated arrival accompanied with frazzled nerves. Bye bye Mr Smug.

Queuing for lunch is not for the terminally impatient, but the jacket potato I finally managed to acquisition was fortunately well worth the wait, despite the fact I had to force it down my throat at almost break-neck speed in order to arrive at Study Skills on time. Thank heavens for Rennie.

Fed and watered, I suddenly remembered the dreaded returning of the homework sketch that was to follow. Luckily, my pessimism was mostly unfounded, and it transpired that I only needed to remember to make a few minor adjustments in the future.

Writing skills immediately became my least favourite subject of the day, as the homework was revealed. Paraphrasing will be nigh on impossible for someone whose natural instinct is to use ten words when just one will suffice. A formidable challenge indeed!

After my near miss with lateness last week, I arrived at college ludicrously early this week. Luckily the refectories are open for the business of breakfast at that hour, so I indulged myself a cup of hot chocolate while I waited for my class to begin.

I’ve discovered that too much Nescafe does nothing to aid my concentration…. quite the opposite in fact… so I have opted for the sweet-toothed alternative as an experiment. This appears to have paid off, as I felt far more able to cope with this weeks note-taking activities with a little less caffeine charging through my body.

After a brief interlude for top-ups and toilets, methodology proved to be quite entertaining. I found that the very idea of discussing the deviant pastime of "cottaging" does rather focus the attention somewhat!